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Away from Home: A Journey Between Pain and Peace

I cannot fathom the thoughts inside my head,
the ones that drove me far from home,
searching for peace of mind, for freedom.

The tears I cried at home,
watching nothing change,
led me to strangers’ doors,
just for a moment’s peace.

“If only I could drown out her screams tonight,
her insults like sharp knives in the dark,” I’d think.

I search.
Still searching.
What a sad, hollow life I live,
no ounce of peace at home.

There’s always something waiting,
a storm behind every door.
Sometimes I ask myself,
“What will it be tonight?”

It’s not fair,
painful and sorrowful beyond words.
I cannot imagine even my worst enemy living this life.

What will become of me?
When will it end?

I’m exhausted.
I try to stay away,
wishing I could stay gone longer.

I find brief joy in solitude at home
but it never lasts.
I can’t yet afford a life alone with my daughter.

All I want is a life of peace and freedom.
When will I find solace?